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For 5 years now I have been chasing this goal to commit. In my eyes, I am the most non-committal person I know. By and large, the result of my efforts to ‘commit’ have rendered my previous, ever-changing, life on the road unimportant to me. This previous life where constant change, being on the move and going with the flow was my North Star and required little conscious effort.
But after 5 years of trying to commit I still feel like I am non-committal and in the eyes of the world, I am a failure. Let’s be honest though, I am not your most conventional guy and my metric of what it means to succeed or at least to commit, is entirely based on what ‘I believe should be’ the case based on what I see of conventional society. So… it’s no wonder I have felt like a failure using this metric.
However, one thing has remained a constant throughout this period. It has been working hard behind the scenes to keep me pointing north and it’s my capacity to change. Recently I decided to end my work as a Financial Coach and I am now commiting all of myself to being a ‘Change Coach’. Yet dropping Financial Coaching is another reminder of how I failed to commit. It took a lot for me to make this decision but the second I did it, it was as if I was handed a huge bag of lemons whereas committing to Finacial Coaching was seemingly robbing me of those lemons.
So what have I learnt from this process?
Sometimes we search for something, and sometimes we aim to be someone else when what we truly want and who we truly are is right beneath our nose, like our friend the Himalayan Musk Deer.
POWER OF THREE’s So, my 3 questions for you are: What are you aiming to be that you keep falling short of? Is it possible that the thing that keeps getting in the way of what you want to be, is the very thing you were meant to be? Yes/No How might you create a bridge between the two?
I owe my recent insights to the works of 3 things: My Coach & Wife, to whom I would not have come to the decision of dropping Octopus Money as soon as I did. Thank you, Graham and Francesca A must-listen podcast, “Track Your Life” by Boyd Varty. A gripping podcast of a man who spends 40 Days in a South African Wildlife Reserve tracking animals and sharing his insights from a treehouse as both a Master Life Coach and Professional Animal Tracker. https://open.spotify.com/show/2RCRXRjtgiR0w2iLsijRia My subconscious, somehow, has been pointing me north this whole time despite my thinking it was a failure. I am now committing to change and in doing so by being a ‘Change Coach’.
3 ways you can help me as I commit full-time to Change Coaching: A Free Coaching Session on me: If you or anyone you know could benefit from coaching. Someone who perhaps is stuck in the story of who they think they should be instead of being who they are. Please share this link and I will provide a free coaching session to them.
https://doodle.com/bp/coachben/discovery-call I have a MENS Camp at the end of this month. It’s an opportunity for men to exercise, connect and have fun in the outdoors with no alcohol or unnecessary bravado. It is an accessible event which aims to help men come to their own insights about who and what they truly are. Information and tickets are available here: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/coachbenmeltd/924497 I want to work with young adults who are making the challenging transition from school/university to the real world. If you are a parent or you know parents with children in this department… Please pass my details on to them and let me know. Email: ben@coachben.me
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