Hi, I’m Ben!

To give you a glimpse into who I am, here are a few quirky things you need to know about me.

  1. Probably the quirkiest of them all is that I still have a Barney the Dinosaur, and I sleep with him every night. If you have questions about this, ask me why.

  2. Number two: "dog" spelt backwards is "God," and that's pretty much spot-on as far as I'm concerned.

  3. I consider myself the luckiest man I know because of the incredible men in my life, most notably my brother, who cycled from Scotland to Cape Town, and my father, who was a bush helicopter pilot for game conservation. Naturally, this doesn’t speak to their character but let’s just say that the impressive nature of those things is equitable with that of their character.

  4. I love to dance. Sober dancing has probably been one of the most invaluable teachers in my life.

  5. I hitchhiked much of the West Coast of South America.

  6. I've done about six gap years but somehow did a degree in Human Kinetics and Ergonomics, and another degree in Anthropology,

  7. I tried to join the Royal Marines, but my history of asthma denied me. So I could go as far as saying that asthma possibly saved my life.

  8. I miss living in South Africa almost daily but so grateful to live in Devon, UK.

  9. The older I get, the more I realize how everything I think I know is, generally speaking, just a story that I tell myself, and that on some level, I'm probably wrong. So life feels like a constant lesson in learning to let go of crap I tell myself.

  10. I am absolutely in love with what I do and feel a real sense of devotion to my work with men.

Growing up.

I grew up in a small town in South Africa, with parents who didn't fit the small-town mold. As a result, I didn't quite fit in either. I always felt I had big ideas and wanted different things than most my age, so when I finished school I packed my bags and bought a one-way ticket to the UK. I tried to join the Royal Marines and, as you learnt above, and was saved by asthma! I thought I was heart-set on this goal but when I got the news I was surprisingly relieved. This was one of the first lessons I learnt that the stories I tell myself aren’t in my best interest and so began a lifelong ambition to help others unpack their own stories.

If I were to boil my upbringing down into chapters they would go in this order:

  • Chapter 1: Birth and Struggle for Oxygen.

  • Chapter 2: Love for Dogs.

  • Chapter 3: My Annoying Sister, Whom I Love.

  • Chapter 4: My Hero Brother, Who Makes Mistakes.

  • Chapter 5: Moving to "butt f*ck nowhere" and loving it.

  • Chapter 6: Boarding School.

  • Chapter 7: Sporting Prowess & Full of Myself.

  • Chapter 8: Scared Parents

  • Chapter 9: Being Knocked off of my Perch.

The chapters following school:
Search for Love
Letting Go of Love
Finding it

Where I am today?

In short, I am a fallible man looking to make many more mistakes on this journey called life. But one thing is for certain, I am doing what I was put on this earth to do, serve men. I live in the UK on a little farm in Devon where I do my best to enjoy life, love my wife and be someone who is a catalyst for good in this world. I do this by providing men with safe spaces to bridge the gap between where he feels trapped and where he aspires to be.

In closing, my ambition is to help thousands of men find meaning and belonging worldwide through my work as a coach and Men’s Day and my expectation is that I help one man find either meaning or belonging today.